Humor

[webuyanymower.com]

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed but somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the truck, the car, playing golf, always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day I found her seated in the tall grass busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.

I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

The doctors say I will walk again but I will always have a limp.

 

[jmurray01]

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed but somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the truck, the car, playing golf, always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day I found her seated in the tall grass busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.

I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

The doctors say I will walk again but I will always have a limp.

:laughing: Good one! :thumbsup:

 

[Bison]

there is a poem contest going on.there two guys left for the finals.
1 is a harvard graduate,the other a newfie from Canada.

The 2 contestants had to make a poem from scratch with the African city timbukto in it.

The harvard guy had the first crack at it so he came up with:

Slowly trough the desert sand
trekked a lonely caravan
men on camels two by two
on the way to Timbukto.

A lengthy aplaus followed

Then the newfie took the mic and started.

Me and tim a hunting went
Met 3 whores in a popup tent
they was three and we was two
So i bucked one and Tim bucked two

 

[jd335]

i have remembered this for years it's a true story but very funny to me we youst to have a hardware store in toen that carried everything the owner was around 70 years old and a guy came in one day and wanted a half a piece of stove pipe so the old man is walking back to cut the pipe when a gentelman walks by and says what are you doing walter and he says ah some sunbitch wants a half piece of stove pipe when he said he turned around and the guy was right behind him then he said real quick and this fine gentelman wants the other half.:laughing: