Family cabin woes. Just a rant, and need some input.

bertsmobile1

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  • / Family cabin woes. Just a rant, and need some input.
So when he tells you you don't come up here much any more you just use his line back to him.
We are having a holiday, not coming up to the cabin to do work on our holidays.
Get a van & go see the world leave the cabin for one weekend a year make it a specific birthday , christmas, etc etc.
If you can only be there for a weekend then you only come up for a weekend with a weekends worth of supplies.
And of course you can't do much constructions in a single weekend.
 

Bean438

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So in case anyone cares to partake in the saga:

cabin season 2019 I wasn’t present. Wife made excuses for me (no holidays, sick, dog ate homework) and thanksgiving was wife, mom, dad, and baby Jeff. Usually way more people. No one wants to come out anymore. Wife fesses up and says I’m not coming out anymore because of baby Jeff.

cabin is closed for the season, dad tells wife he doesn’t think he can do this anymore (maintain cabin). Dad starts dropping weight in October and come November our lives will change as we prepare for a battle that can’t be won. I won’t even mention it’s name but starts with the letter c.

jan 2020 we lose our matriarch. Shortly after the death mom dumps onto our lap that she is being verbally and emotionally abused by baby jeff. She blamed Jeff’s enabling on dad and she wants it to stop. She wants baby Jeff to get a job, and start being more independent. She’s terrified of him.

there is also a new virus on its way from China. We don’t know this yet, nor do we know the impact.

the Dust has settled on the estate and mom asks if we’d like to buy half a cabin (needs a wee bit a help in the finances). She’s going to keep the other half, and of course baby Jeff will get the other half.

we aren’t,interested and tell her we will buy the entire cabin. All or nothing. Baby Jeff is welcome to come out but there’s a new sherif in town. He will have to do something and/or bring something.

baby Jeff is furious we are stealing his cabin. It’s not fair! He’s entitled to it. And he’s not going to do what he’s told. Nobody tells him what to do.

word travels were buying the cabin. Neighbors are relieved as we find,out he’s being shooting guns in the back yard, out of boats. Playing loud music, flying a drone around the lake, spying on 15myear old girls tanning (he has the right to do this) he’s picked fights, and is feeding the wildlife. People want it to,stop.

we explain to baby Jeff he will have to change or no more cabin. He threatens me and tells me to watch out.

‘’’the cabin collapses off the foundation and a monumental cabin,season is under way to clean up. Baby Jeff is no where to be found. He’s not helping because he’s lazy, and “it’s not my cabin, not my responsibility“

as we close up the cabin for the season baby Jeff magically appears with a case of beer, bag of weed, etc. he’s planning to come out all winter. I tell him nope. He’s a guest and isn’t welcome until next spring we will try again.

we haven’t signed paperwork with mom cause it’s family right? Baby Jeff flips out on mom and demands 10% of the cabin (not buying he just wants)

we think mom is coming over to sign the papers but instead she comes over to attack me and tell me I’m being to hard on baby Jeff. She says she will only sell us 90% of the cabin and baby Jeff gets 10% when she dies because “she always wants baby Jeff to have access to the cabin”
I refuse and she totally blows up on me. Says I’m controlling, and unreasonable and I always have to get my way. I’m being difficult because I won’t own a cabin with baby Jeff. She doesn’t get it.

she was never selling us a cabin. She,was looking,for us to enable him when she’s dead. Plain and simple.

we don’t speak for 14 months. In the mean time baby Jeff goes to the cabin in 2021. He’s using my new outboard motor without my permission (old motor was sold and proceeds used to purchase new motor so baby Jeff think so it’s the cabins motor, not mine)

mom has lunch this year with daughter and wife. She misses us and wants us all back at the cabin. Wants it to go back to the way it was. She says we don’t have to do any work or pay for anything in lieu of all the work I’ve done. She tells them that she’s gonna hang on to the cabin and baby Jeff will get most of it and my daughter inherits the rest.

my interpretation is she’s now wanting my daughter to enable baby Jeff when she’s dead. My daughter will be 55 and owning a cabin with a 65 yr old unemployed man. Crazy.

so i haven’t been out since 2020. I don’t want to go back and my daughter doesn’t even want to gout never mind own a cabin with a bay Jeff.

this guy is a clown. Mom is still working trying to keep the house and cabin. He’s just happy he’s getting the cabin.

I also found out He borrowed 900 from y daughter and only paid back 400. Nice. Stealing is bad. Stealing from family is pathetic. Stealing,from my daughter is unforgivable.
 
Joined
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  • / Family cabin woes. Just a rant, and need some input.
Hello all. Having some issues involving the in-laws “family” cabin.

In addition to the amount of work a cabin requires, this one needs more. It’s off grid, boat access only. Supplies need to be dragged down a hill and boated across.

Any kind of work and maintenance is easily doubled due to this.

I have done lots of work and repair because the father in law is70 and has a hard time keeping up. Besides I can’t sit on my *** and watch a 70 year old man work. It just ain’t right.

One of my issues is that my interpretation of a familly cabin is everyone gets their week or so, and then it’s someone else’s turn. Of course there’s usually an open week, and of course “work” weekends, as required.

This cabin is like a drop in where the grandkids come and go at will (empty handed), and it seems they are always busy for the “work” weekends.

Then There’s my brother in law “Jeff”. Jeff......

...Is 40 years old and lives in his parents basement
...is at the cabin without fail every weekend from May until October
...never brings any food or supplies (he is broke and has no money), BUT,
...he always has beer, pot, cigars, cigarettes, and he bought a drone, and
...has a new pickup truck with tinted windows, lift kit (point mad I think)
...never helps prepare meals, wash dishes
...never doesn’t any work at the cabin, or even help carry supplies from the boat
...complains if the meal is not to his liking
...over eats without consideration that others need to eat too

Basically he is a POS.

It feels like I go out to provide mom and dad with respite. I hate it. It’s not my place to say something but I don’t want to go anymore. I offered to buy a cottage or rent one as my wife really enjoys it. But the family cabin is special to her. She didn’t have much in life so this place means a lot, and her brothers behavior is normal.

In addition to doing all the work while “Jeff” sat and drank beer, the tipping point was when we all went into town to restock supplies last year. Of course “Jeff” restocked his beer, and pot with the money he didn’t have, but when I wanted to stop at a store to purchase a cabin maintenance related item, “Jeff” said “I’m on my holidays and we’re not wasting anymore of my time driving around”.

This guy is an arrogant, lazy, freeloading jerk. The parents enable him.

I want to help mom and dad out as I enjoy building and fixing things. But I’m having a real problem with this guy. I was able to ignore him and simply take the high road and be the better person.

I can do lazy but I don’t do disrespectful.

Wifey doesn’t want to buy or rent because she thinks her parents will be insulted.

As of last year I still went out, but I have stopped doing any work on the cabin except for dishes, and meal prep. It’s not my cabin and not my responsibility. I find it difficult to watch dad work.

Any ideas how to tackle this? And yes I’ve thought about using him as a boat anchor, lol. Jk
jeff sounds like my uncle but my uncles got money
 

grumpygrizzly

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Apr 4, 2014
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Pack up what's yours and never look back. My wife and I have been married 42 years and we take vacations... apart.. I use all my animals as my excuse.. 4 dogs, 3 cats, 2 parakeets, no one to take care of them while we're away. My oldest son in in the Air Force up in Anchorage and between him and his 2nd wife, they have 6 kids. Wife takes off and goes to visit them when she wants to. Never gets any argument from me. Neither of my sons will answer a call or text message from me.. My wife will usually tell me when one of them is going to call me about something he needs me to send him.. Funny thing, my phone doesn't catch all the calls that come in.

We don't have a cabin, don't want one really.. Got an RV that I need to do some serious repairs on because of Pacific North Wet weather.. Might just buy a bigger one.. Probably never happen. I'm more than happy with the canopy on my pickup truck with nice benches in the back, a cooler, porta potty.. Wife says "I'm not going camping in that!" Funny, I don't ever remember asking her to..

I'd love to get another camper but, the one we have is a 27' Class C and she says it isn't big enough.. For who?!?!

Cut your brother-in-law off.. Don't answer his calls or anything. If your wife starts telling to something about him, excuse yourself and go to the bathroom.. After 10 minutes or so, leave the bathroom and head out to your shop and spend enough time there so that she will forget what she was talking about.

Or, be blunt and tell her you don't give a damn about what Freddie the Freeloader is doing..
 
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