Did some poking around tonight.
Double-checked the spark plug. Either this plug is mint, or I don't understand spark plugs. So I'm assuming its not the plug.
Then I finally got around to popping the flywheel off. The key looked perfect, no sheering or gaps or looseness or anything like that.
On to the muffler, I wanted to make sure there wasn't a screen in there that was somehow clogged up. There was not.
Then while that was off, I figured I might as well take the cylinder head off. It was a little dirty in there but I didn't think it looked TOO bad. Like not too bad to run. But looking closer at the pic, one of the valves DOES look open! And with it pulled that far off the block, the rods should be a mile away from being able to push it open, right? So the springs should absolutely have closed it? That's what I'm thinking. I couldn't get a great view of it or play with it because the carb was still on there so I couldn't pull it off very far.
The port thats open, is that the intake or the exhaust? If it's the exhaust, could it just be jammed up from a piece of carbon breaking off and getting in there somehow? If thats the case, how do you fix this? Just take it all again and manually push it back and forth until it frees up?