The Daily Yardman Thread

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Boo Boo I will say this ~!~!

Your DUCK IS DEAD

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet..

"How can you be so sure?" she protested.. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$1,500!" she cried,"$1,500 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $1,500."
 

Boobala

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Boo Boo I will say this ~!~!

Your DUCK IS DEAD

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet..

"How can you be so sure?" she protested.. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$1,500!" she cried,"$1,500 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $1,500."

BOU .... U need to quit eatin so much gator meat & craw-dads, or maybe that "gap-shot" pic, put U in a state of shock !! ..:laughing:..:laughing:
 

BlazNT

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Pumper54

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Boo and Blaz Thank you Gentlemen for the nice morning photos.
Tom
 

Ronno6

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No girly pics for me on Sunday.....

When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds...........
 

Boobala

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No girly pics for me on Sunday.....

When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds...........

I guess it's safe to assume that U R also abstinent (sexually) on Sundays as well .. BUT DON'T U worry, ... I'll take up UR slack, I ALWAYS go bak 4 seconds, sometimes thirds !! .. :thumbsup:..:wink:..:laughing:
 

Ronno6

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I guess it's safe to assume that U R also abstinent (sexually) on Sundays as well

Only from women to whom I am not married...........
I abstain from men all the time....(sorry, Boobot...)
 

Pumper54

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Winston Churchill, famous for smoking cigars, was making a speak to Parliament and while he was speaking he was smoking a cigar, everyone sat there staring at it as the ash never dropped from it. For about an hour he spoke and everyone there watched and listened to the speech. When he was done and as he turned away from the podium he removed the rather large hat pin which he had placed in the cigar before going into Parliament. Not only was he quick with the quip but he was a true Statesmen.

Tom
 

Boobala

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Another great race 2day, CONGRATS 2 Kyle on his 200th win, he IS a driver, glad team Penske & Truex were in the top 10 safe race with no major wrecks or injuries, hope you caught this 1 Ron ... :thumbsup:
 
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