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Whenever I face confrontations I choose to remain quiet. The best defense is to remain silent. It has worked on several occasions because most confrontational people like it when you fight back.

because of the job I had I had no choice but to have confrontions on a nightly basis,sometimes multiple times each night with the same person or with different people.Didn't like it but had no choice.now that I'm retired and it's just me and my dogs don't have many so my blood pressure has gone down by many points. russ

173abn said:

because of the job I had I had no choice but to have confrontions on a nightly basis,sometimes multiple times each night with the same person or with different people.Didn't like it but had no choice.now that I'm retired and it's just me and my dogs don't have many so my blood pressure has gone down by many points. russ

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Same here:thumbsup:... :smile::smile:KennyV

When I was employed, I was pretty much the most skilled in what I did where I did, so most of the customers and co workers were understanding that I wanted to do things my way. I did have one co worker who was a screw off and had a poor work ethic, so my choice was to tell him I wasn't going to work with him unless he did his share of the workload...we had a few major disagreements now and then but when he realized how dependent he was on my skills, it pretty much settled the issues.
If someone persists in being confrontional, I say my thoughts, listen to theirs, and we can usually reach a compromise.

I do not like to argue, so compromising is the art of settling differences, wish I was better at it.

173abn said:

because of the job I had I had no choice but to have confrontions on a nightly basis,sometimes multiple times each night with the same person or with different people.Didn't like it but had no choice.now that I'm retired and it's just me and my dogs don't have many so my blood pressure has gone down by many points. russ

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That's good, but I am curious as to what your job was. (Kenny as well.)

Personally I agree with the person who said confrontational people actually feed off your response, but I still find it hard to avoid biting when they start.

I tend to avoid confrontations, because I know I will lose my temper and say exactly what I'm thinking. I keep my mouth shut until they force me to say something, then I let loose. It's harder now that I live in a small town, because I have to remember that I'm going to see these people again, so I try to just do the "keep my mouth shut" part.

A good part of why I live in the middle of nowhere with a good chunk of land and no close neighbors.

touree said:

Whenever I face confrontations I choose to remain quiet. The best defense is to remain silent. It has worked on several occasions because most confrontational people like it when you fight back.

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I have learned a lot from people like you touree. I'm very direct and confrontational. The culture of my country leans towards being non-confrontational. That has made my temper even more despicable to many of my co-workers. So, I can affirm what you said that "confrontational people like it when you fight back."

Silence is the best option. I haven't solved anything wholesomely by my temper. Good thing that I'm doing well in learning how to be less confrontational. When my temper really goes up, I would at least delay the "eruption" until I'm in front of a wall that I can punch with my fist. The wound on my fist would later remind me about the futility of anger.

Like the saying goes...
"It's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it"
same goes when dealing with people... :smile:KennyV

I have spent most of my life working with the public so confrontations are a commonplace in that line of work, I tried to remain calm and keep cool, after though I usually went alone for myself and cooled down a bit.

I worked at the Veterans Hosp. on an acute admitting psych. unit for 34yrs. we admitted drunks,crack heads,meth heads,schizos. ,bi polars,suicideals,ptsd and everything in between.lots and lots of confrontations and I don't miss it at all.I will say I never disrespected any clinent and always gave good care but confrontations came with the job. russ

KennyV said:

Like the saying goes...
"It's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it"
same goes when dealing with people... :smile:KennyV

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I think the quotation was from Abraham Lincoln..."better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt"....:laughing:

JDgreen said:

I think the quotation was from Abraham Lincoln..."better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt"....:laughing:

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I thought it was Ben Frankiln said that! Whoops I should have kept my mouth shut

adan said:

Silence is the best option. I haven't solved anything wholesomely by my temper. Good thing that I'm doing well in learning how to be less confrontational. When my temper really goes up, I would at least delay the "eruption" until I'm in front of a wall that I can punch with my fist. The wound on my fist would later remind me about the futility of anger.

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That's me as well. I'm rather large, (6'4" 260) so when I explode, it generally scares hell out of people and mostly ends the confrontation. But it doesn't do a hell of a lot for my health. Past few years, I've been trying the arched eyebrow, rather than raising bloodpressure. It's something that says "Are you sure you want to go down this road?" At least it seemed to get people to think about what morons they were being. I'll take a dressing down if I think I deserve it, but no further than that. Act like you've got me right where you want me, and I'll strike back. Since I've retired, I'm far less apt to get into a confrontation, but if I do, I haven't really changed.:ashamed: