Needless to say, I feel like an idiot! I replaced 2 batteries yesterday - one in a Prestige that is at my mom's house and then the second in my Conquest. The battery in the Prestige is a group size 51 with top posts and automobile style connectors instead of the U1 in my Conquest that is made to put a bolt through... well, the 51 had a cover over the positive terminal and worked all fine and dandy; when I hooked up the U1, I just ASSuMEd that the cover was on the positive terminal. Welp, that was not the case and I had the battery hooked up backwards.
Sorry to waste your time bkeller500 but if anyone else runs into the same sort of problem, check your battery connections first and foremost. I guess I should have paid more attention to my meter because I'm sure it showed negative on my voltage readings. ?